If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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