he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
