I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
