I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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