Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
