if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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