Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
