he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
