i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
