I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
