pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
