3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
