Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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