He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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