If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
