He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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