Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was confusing and full of hummus
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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