I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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