This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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