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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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