Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
