he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
