Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
