I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
