break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
