OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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