You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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