So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
