the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
