So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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