I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
