You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
