i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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