He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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