i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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