Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
