Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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