haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
