at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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