i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
