At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
