at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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