I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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