So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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