they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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