Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
