Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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