My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
