1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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