i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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