You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pants are for mortals
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
