I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
